Today in things Minty read a while ago

Mostly for my own future reference.

I came to this fic because of the “alternate universe where underwear is different” concept, because isn’t that a premise that makes you want to see more? And I have absolutely no knowledge of the source material. But as it turns out, the whole undercover/alias/talking about ourselves in the third person but not quite ourselves thing– I did not know I needed that, but I do.

Maybe I really should call myself gray-a

(Meaning, in a “gray area” where you’re sort of asexual but not exactly.)

I never really spent that much time reading about asexuality, the first time around (because a lot of what I found was aimed at people who are actively disgusted by sex, which I was already sure was not me.) I gave up on the idea for two reasons:

  • I actually had sex for the first time and discovered I could really enjoy it.
  • I got started on the idea that it was the kinds of things I noticed and found attractive that were unusual, not the attraction I ended up with.

But just now (because of something I was reading) I asked myself, would I feel satisfied in a romantic relationship without sex? And I think I would. I think I’d be fine with that. I enjoy sex (a lot), and I do have some “sex drive”/desire for sexual pleasure, but if my partner was okay with me masturbating occasionally, I think I’d be okay with not having sex. And that’s probably not normal, is it? Even if it’s not asexuality, it’s not normal.

I do sometimes (rarely) just out-of-the-blue want sex, and specifically partnered sex, not masturbation. I do sometimes look at Sparkly and think “I want to touch you/have sex with you/etc” instead of “you’re beautiful”– rarely. But the vast majority of the time, my mind just doesn’t do things that way.

Sparkly’s mother called

and we will never know the reason why!

(This happened two days ago. I’ve been busy.)

She called and said she had something important to tell Sparkly, but she had to call someone else first and Sparkly should go take a shower and then call her back. (She thinks it’s Very Important that Sparkly should take a shower right after gymnastics practice, for various reasons that aren’t really important.) So Sparkly stews and worries for 20 minutes, calls her back, she says oh don’t worry I sorted it all out I don’t need to talk to you anymore. Absolutely avoids saying what it was about. Instead finds the time to say that Sparkly should practice her coping skills better if this whole “This is important, now wait and I’ll tell you later!” thing made her anxious. And to lecture her on hygiene and ask her if she’s taking her meds.
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N.B. If someone is trying to tell you something, and you say you don’t have time to listen and hang up on them, you are blowing them off. It doesn’t matter if you have a reason unless it’s an actual emergency, and even then you should probably still apologize.
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Oh also she’s done this at least a half-dozen times now and I should record it: except when she’s in a hurry, like the first phone call, she won’t end the conversation until Sparkly says “I love you”. She’ll literally prompt her, she’ll say “And what else?” after Sparkly says goodbye. It may be the most disgustingly petty thing I’ve ever heard.

I had a silly realization about MFMM

I’ve found a decent number of people on Tumblr to follow who watch and talk about Miss Fisher. I now get to see a lot of lovely posts about how attractive Jack is. Earlier today I started wondering why I don’t see any similar posts about Phryne, or any of the other characters…

That’s probably because the people I follow are straight, huh? They’re all women and they’re probably all straight except for A, and that shouldn’t really surprise me! I’ve just gotten used to everyone being queer. Oops.

Siggorts

I wrote this ages ago and didn’t post it, I’m not sure why. Probably I was going to collect more links.

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Fuuuuck I bet I know who siggorts are supposed to be and ouch that is awkward. I mean, assuming they’re meant to represent any specific existing thing and not just a philosophical situation.

 

Or maybe it’s not that bad? Since innocence is part of their definition? (here and here)

Context:

(X) Sid has difficulty with his identity

(X) Max has difficult with Sid’s identity and then has a bright idea

(X) Siggorts in general

 

 

A Wizard Alone, again, finally

Looking back, I think most of the problem I had with A Wizard Alone is that I didn’t take the whole “the Lone Power made Darryl’s problems worse temporarily” thing seriously. I assumed that Darryl’s situation when Kit first goes looking for him was normal for Darryl, when I guess it wasn’t supposed to be? It isn’t clear. Because Darryl actually technically finished his Ordeal as soon as he took the Oath, right? His Ordeal was putting the Oath into actual words when his brain was not letting him use words, and the Lone Power was making it even harder.

“Two weeks after things started to get so bad all of a sudden,” Darryl said.
“Two weeks after the Powers that Be offered you the Oath,” Nita said. “And the Lone One spent that whole time trying to make it impossible for you to find the words.”
“Didn’t work, though,” Kit said, and he was grinning too, now. “Not with you. You may have had to fight to get the Oath out, word by word and phrase by phrase, sure, and It may have kept derailing you. But you wouldn’t be derailed. You got it out at last.”
“And passed your Ordeal the minute you managed to finish it,” Nita said.”

So that was actually over before the book starts. But, I guess, Darryl’s situation at the start of the book is explained by how busy he still is inside his own head.

My problem is that I was totally ready to assume that a kid who spends a lot of time apparently staring into space in a special ed classroom, who doesn’t speak, who self-harms– could totally be a wizard.

It didn’t occur to me to go “But how can he be a wizard if he can’t talk? How can he do spells?” (which I’m assuming ought to be the most obvious problem) because I know that some people can’t speak but can write or type just fine, or can’t usually speak but can recite things they’ve pre-prepared, or can use sign language. And I also know now thanks to the author’s Tumblr that there are assumed to be versions of the Speech for every form of communication any alien species might possibly have, even if they don’t come up in the books. And that there definitely are deaf human wizards who use a sign language version.

And I guess we aren’t supposed to accept that. Darryl’s situation at the start of the book is supposed to be a problem. We’re supposed to be expecting him to be way more capable of passing at the end of the book when everything is normal. And it makes sense, yes, for most of the book he’s spending a huge amount of mental energy on something no one knows is going on, and it makes sense for him to have way more energy for things like talking to people once he’s free of that.

But sitting in a special ed classroom not visibly paying attention, and not speaking, and self-harming, is some people’s everyday normal. That’s what they’re capable of when they’re not fighting epic battles in their mind, just thinking about everyday things. And those people can still be smart, can still be eloquent when they’re able to use words, can still have opinions and understand what’s going on around them, and, in a world where wizards exist at all, could presumably be wizards too.

I thought this was a story about an autistic kid who might be labelled “low-functioning”, and it turned out to be a story about a kid who usually goes through life with minimal autism-related problems, but gets temporarily inconvenienced with them. That’s why I was confused.

I took Sparkly to the library today.

And despite the fact that ey hasn’t gotten a public library card in all the two-years-ish we’ve lived here, and ey usually never wants to go with me, and ey didn’t exactly seem excited about it– once we got in, and we happened to pass the “mystery” section, ey was all “Will you check out some books for me? And will you read this? You have to read this, it’s the scariest one! Start reading it right away when you get home.” So in the end I checked out FOUR books from eir favorite series, three for em and one for me on eir recommendation. (The “In Death” series by J. D. Robb, for the record. Not my usual thing, but they’re pretty good.)

And ey might actually read Code Name Verity now, in exchange.

I love seeing em so excited.