This weekend I’ll be at a convention with a bunch of people from [fan organization]. I might end up being able to update, but I’m declaring a vacation until Monday.

Reminder to myself to print and fill out that form BEFORE Monday.

Also congratulations to myself for doing so well on posting every day so far this year.

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Of all the things to set me off…

Mildly gross below the cut.
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My hip has decided to be achy for some reason, and it’s doing the thing where every possible position either hurts or makes my leg go numb. Sigh. Sitting in a chair is better, though.

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May Food Diary

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Oh hey

(from last night/this morning when I was very tired)

Remember that time in middle school where they made everyone do a big project imagining, writing about, illustrating our future lives?
And 14yo me could not imagine ever getting married. Not like I was questioning my sexuality already. I was just certain I wasn’t normal enough for that.

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Apparently dictating rather than typing roughly doubles Sparkly’s writing speed. Doubles. Yeah.

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Arggggh I don’t really want to talk about sexuality with you but okay in the abstract I will.

Also the evolution of language is weird, since apparently this was an unfamiliar enough idea for you that it went right past you because I didn’t give a detailed explanation. I literally never mentioned sharing it. I literally did say there doesn’t need to be just one of it.

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More notes from interactions with drunk handsy dudes

All the men there (who were aware of it, as far as I know) were entertainingly angry on my behalf, later, although they acted normal and smoothed things over at the time.

The woman who was next to me for most of it smoothed things over both with the drunk dude, and with me when he was out of the room. “Well, he’s very drunk. And he thinks you’re cute, that’s nice. And I’ve had much worse drunk handsy dudes.”

I don’t think this reflects negatively on her at all, it’s just interesting as an example of different perspectives on sexism. It’s easy to be angry about something when it’s mostly hypothetical to you. When it happens to you a lot, on the other hand, you do your best to dismiss it and get on with your day.

——————-

The really tiresome thing about drunk people is that whatever you tell them doesn’t stick. It may be easy to distract them momentarily, but they keep coming back to the same ideas. Repeatedly moving away, saying No, you can’t touch me (calmly and neutrally in tone), even physically moving his hand off my leg, didn’t deter him at all. The really tiresome thing is that this common property of drunkenness means that if I had made a scene, even that wouldn’t have deterred him.

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This is only semi-related, but– I guess it sometimes strikes people as weird, when I say rude or challenging or uncompromising things in my normal calm tone of voice? Like they find it hard to take what I’m saying seriously. The issue is, I do mean it seriously, I just don’t want to go too far in the opposite direction and sound really aggressive. I thought I was hitting about the right tone of friendly “no”, at least for some of it? I don’t know.

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The thing about sneakily touching someone is:
It is almost never sneaky from the point of view of the touch-ee. People generally notice when you touch them.
Sneakiness only keeps the other people in the room from noticing. And that kind of puts a different spin on it.

Fuck you, man, I don’t even know your name, and I definitely don’t know what you thought you were going to get out of repeatedly touching my knee.

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6512

That’s the word count for the thingy. Six more sections to do, and all of them are currently half-written.

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