What do you have in your mind when you’re looking for a word? When you have an idea, but you don’t have the word, what is the idea?

It’s larger than a sensation, because it’s probably more than one sensation. It’s not a single specific memory. It’s a collection of memories and snippets of memories that define a whole idea. It’s not as large as some memories could be, it’s not a whole long story, because it is small enough to be defined by a single word.

It’s a gem with each facet being a sensation or an abstracted characteristic.

Those things. I think in those things.

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Went to bed late and woke up earlyish, spent the evening working, now thoroughly exhausted.

Ohhh here’s what I was going to post about:

Scissors and razors vs electric shavers/trimmers:

Sparkly thinks large metal blades are scarier, I think buzzy electric things are scarier. Personal preferences.

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Sparkly is going to be away for the weekend again– ey’s taking Numbers Guy to visit eir mother.

Ey also got a big disappointment today, because eir bosses for eir internship don’t want em to come back for the fall semester– essentially, ey was fired, even though ey wasn’t being paid. It seems like, rather than eir immediate coworkers having anything against em, or there being any significant issues with the quality of eir work, it was mainly just a conflict of personality or expectations with eir supervisors (one of them more than the other.)

None of the reasons they gave really amount to a suddenly-firing-someone reason, and some of them are downright petty and passive-aggressive– e.g. apparently it’s okay for the real attorneys to wear jeans in the office when they’re not going to be in court, but interns should be too conscious of their precarious not-real-attorney status to ever wear anything less than a suit, and Sparkly should have somehow intuited this without being told, rather than following the norms set by eir coworkers, like anyone would normally expect to do. This was never important enough for eir supervisors to actually tell em this, yet it was important enough to bring up while firing em. Grr. As far as I’m concerned, “Here’s the main reason I’m firing you; also, here’s every little thing about you that ever annoyed me” is an extremely unprofessional way to handle that conversation.

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Took a long walk. Expected to be physically tired, but not this mentally tired. Soles of feet hurt, of course. Both ankles hurt a little, but not nearly as much as they did an hour after the walk. Still not sure whether this is normal or not. I injure my joints a lot, but they bounce back really fast.

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Why do I read explicit fic for fandoms I’m actually in?

(I wasn’t trying to! I just happen to have gotten into a fandom, which I like for completely unrelated reasons, which also keeps showing up in the tags I look through for explicit fic. So now when I go through those tags, I get to go “Oh GOD no why would you write that about those characters?” instead of just “Oh, that one isn’t for me.”)

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Between Sparkly and Numbers Guy, I am apparently doomed to be the person who has the best executive function and least-fucked-up sleep schedule out of the household. (And re: executive function, that’s saying something.) Criticize whatever else about me you want to criticize, but I cook and I buy food and I clean things, on a not-completely-awful schedule.

Sometimes I selfishly wish that I could live with someone who was more on top of these things than I am, for a change, so I could follow their lead instead of always being the one to push.

Maybe I underestimate how much Sparkly’s job takes out of em.

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Talking to myself

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Small things

  • I should probably take a second try at making a recipe that went badly the first time. *cringing face*
  • Someone said something nice about one of my posts on Tumblr! On the one hand I’m really happy. On the other hand, it would be even nicer if they’d actually talk to me about the topic of the post.

Short story:

I was captioning a video in which the speaker said something about “transgendered” teenagers. In the captions I changed it to “transgender”. It’s not really a big deal, but the best way for people to learn the most accepted language for these sorts of things is to see it more often, right?

In the hopes that the QA person wouldn’t just change it back, I added a note explaining that I intended it as a grammar correction and what the correct usage is– we’re allowed to make minor changes to correct grammar. Much to my surprise and relief, the QA person commented to agree, and support my changing it! Phew.

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Today in stuff that doesn’t interest me

in erotica. Prompted by a fic that contains all of these things:

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Come to think of it…

Not only is spontaneous empathy not necessary to make moral decisions and be a good person, in fact, the majority of morality is learning how to treat people well even when you don’t have empathy for them.

—————-

This is just one example, and it’s very Christian, because that’s how I was raised, but:

The story of the good Samaritan: When you see someone who might be in trouble, and instead of thinking “Oh, that poor person! I’ll help them!” you think “Ew.” … you should still help them.

We tend to think of this as teaching people to have more empathy, but I don’t think that’s what it is. No matter how many times you train your subconscious to stop going “ew” at a particular group of people, there are always more people out there who you’re going to feel that way about. What we need to teach people, ideally, is to even try to care in the first place. To reconsider their gut reaction. To not assume that who they happen to feel empathy for is an accurate guide to who deserves their regard. To make a habit of thinking “What if I should care?” when their subconscious doesn’t care.

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