I have a lot of uncomfortable feelings about Sparkly’s parents’ divorce.

Specifically, with how her mom  is suddenly the good guy and her dad the bad guy.

I’ve known Sparkly since we were both in middle school.  Her dad worked nights, so I met him exactly twice in about seven years.  I saw her mom a lot more often.  She told me that her parents argued a lot.  I saw how her mom treated her.

Recently I finally deleted the emails Sparkly sent me when her mother told her that she needed to apologize to all her friends for lying to them (because obviously if people liked Sparkly, it must be because she’d misled them.)

I remember my fifteenth birthday party, which consisted of going to see a play followed by a sleepover.  In an attempt to make things go more smoothly when getting Sparkly permission to come, I talked to her mother first.  Her mother said Sparkly could come to the play but not the sleepover…. because Sparkly was scheduled to get her flu shot earlier that day, and having an aching arm would clearly make it impossible for her to sleep in a strange bed???  When I asked Sparkly herself, she said yes, she had permission to come see the play.  The sleepover?  Her mother hadn’t mentioned the sleepover to her.

I’ve heard Sparkly’s mother throw a crying fit about how Sparkly would be OMG BEING SO DEMANDING AND PUTTING MY LIFE IN DANGER if she went out to dinner with me, because I’d have to drive in the snow.  Never mind that I was going to be driving in the snow that evening anyway, whether Sparkly came or not.

(This is just one example out of more yelling/crying rants than I can count, all about equally unfounded in any actual problem.)

As far as Sparkly has told me, the worst thing her dad ever did to her personally when we were younger was consistently fail to get her what she asked for for Christmas.  Even when she was very clear that she wanted a particular CD, he’d always end up getting her some other CD by the same band.  More recently, it seems the worst thing he’s done to her is seek her out several times to rather pushily try to convince her to take his side in the divorce.

I just can’t bring myself to see Sparkly’s mother as the good guy in this situation.  Sure, in the abstract, it’s clearly bad that he cheated on her and it’s good that they’re getting divorced.  But when what I want most of all is for neither of us to ever have to speak to Sparkly’s mother again, I just can’t feel any happiness for her.  And it makes me feel all creepy and uncomfortable that Sparkly does feel like she’s on her mom’s side.  But she’s allowed to feel however the hell she wants, which is why I’m telling the internet this and not her.


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