You would think, in my friend group that’s about 1/3 queer women…

that there would be less people who give credence to the idea of gaydar.

Okay, here’s the context: RDG introduced us to a friend of hers who is genderqueer.  She didn’t say that in the introduction, though.  And apparently multiple people assumed he was gay, based on him being apparently male with a sort of gentle, feminine part to his personality.

I wasn’t so surprised when people at my college were all like “oh, N is asexual?  I guess that makes sense.  He has a kind of high voice and cares about fashion, but he’s not so stereotypically gay.”*  Sigh.  I was like “face, meet palm,” but I wasn’t really surprised because they were all straight and didn’t really know any queer people well besides him and me.

But when four out of seven people in the room are queer women and none of them look particularly like a lesbian stereotype, you’d think we could get past this.  (For the sake of thoroughness: RDG, the host of this party who we’ll call M, and I are bi; Sparkly doesn’t like labels but obviously is in a relationship with me; RDG’s sister Bee is straight; Cool Hair Guy describes himself as heteroflexible, which I guess means he’s theoretically open to having sex with men but not extremely interested; and then there’s J, the genderqueer one.)

Is this another unfortunate effect of attending an all-women school, or am I unusual for not buying into this thing?

Maybe I should be thanking certain parts of the internet, for introducing teenage-me to queer people of every description imaginable.  That probably helped.


* The “Oh, that makes sense.  He’s sort of… well, you know.” was actually said out loud; the rest is my assumption about what they were referring to.


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