Same thing again.

Dr Phil  and her parents can’t decide whether this is a poor naive girl who was exploited by an older man, or a gross promiscuous girl who has sex for attention. They waffle between “But wasn’t that rape? Wasn’t it dangerous to get that drunk at a party with people you didn’t know?” and “You should have remorse, you only regret people knowing about it, not the act itself.” (Her father said that. Her father. Said she should have remorse. For being raped and having nude pictures distributed against her will. She says that although she was drunk it was consensual, but it’s statutory rape regardless.)

You don’t get to tell her she should have remorse, like it’s a crime SHE committed, and also tell her she should want this guy to be prosecuted for rape, and refuse to address that THE REASON SHE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, she says, is because of the negative reaction from other people, the insults and harrassment, not what happened at the party.

They are doing the same thing as her classmates, just stopping short of using the word “whore”. They are trying to push onto her the attitude that all the sex she’s ever had must have been wrong, this time especially, and that she must be a bad person either for wanting it or for allowing it to happen. In the guise of having concern for her, they’re doing the one thing she’s said hurts her the worst.

This girl seems really twisted up and confused, and she is doing some things that are definitely wrong, or definitely dangerous (like skipping school to have sex, and getting drunk and high.) But this is no way to help her.

You can’t help someone figure out what’s healthy for them, what they really want, by TELLING them what they SHOULD want.


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