Day 10: What are your hard limits?

I was going to do like Cliff and include things I believe are wrong, as well as things I just don’t like, but I don’t really see trying to make an exhaustive list of awful things. I’m going to be talking about ethics later anyway, so this is just a list of things I personally don’t want to do, not including things I think are bad for objective reasons.

For that matter, it only includes things I’ve actually considered, or that I’ve come across often enough that I’ve thought about them a lot.

Things I just don’t like:

  • Having my breathing restricted. Even totally minor things, like pressure on my chest that I can’t get away from, make me anxious in a way that isn’t fun. I can imagine wanting to deliberately trigger that anxiety, at some point, but I’m definitely not interested in trying that right now.
  • Pain on my genitals. It’s too intense for me to enjoy it, and having to endure it is something that already happens accidentally, so I don’t really want to seek it out more. Plus, enduring pain isn’t really sexual to me, so it’d be mixing two things that don’t go together.
  • I kind of don’t like the idea of someone else scarring me? I don’t know. I’m fine with the scars I have but I don’t know if I want to get any from kink. I just feel weird about it.

I want to separate these ones because I want to make it more clear how I feel about them. These are things that I know are not actually wrong if they’re consensual, that I know other people enjoy, but that I’m not comfortable with for myself because they feel too demeaning to me.

  • Being called the kind of names someone might actually call me as an insult. I’ve gotten used to temporarily suspending the standard definition of “slut”, because Sparkly likes to be called that, but I was very uncomfortable with even calling her that at first. So I guess “slut” is okay now, but not anything else like it.
  • Once in RP, Sparkly had me lick something clean. I’m not sure if I’d react quite as badly now, but I felt awful at the time. It was a bad combination of “feels demeaning” and various aversions of mine. 




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