Because (AGAIN) I’ve written something with my only intention being “This makes sense for the character. This is how they would feel, based on their history,” and it’s turned out to be really close to my own issues when that hadn’t occurred to me at all.
Sorry, Fictional Guy. Turns out I don’t know how to deal with people expecting things from me either.
So, relatedly, I have way too fucking many feelings about Big Fluffy Dog Guy, and not romantic feelings, but “I don’t feel how you want me to feel, I’m lying to you, I’m leading you on, I am awful”-type feelings. Like, a really excessive amount of feelings that don’t really have anything to do with him. I am going to do my very best to behave like a responsible adult when I talk to him, but my brain is kind of imploding.
I’m wondering whether I should call this a subset of the general “I don’t like to disappoint people”/”I just can’t do the thing and how can I explain that” problem, or whether I actually have a specific issue about this re: relationships.