I want to talk about a particular type of awfulness. It comes up a lot in homophobia, especially religious anti-gay rhetoric, but it’s not tied to homophobia alone. I want to talk about hateful language that asserts that something that– to the people who do it– may seem normal, natural, and beneficial, is actually harmful, unnatural, and wrong for them. I think this kind of rhetoric, that (theoretically, at least) is concerned for the well-being of the people it’s directed at, puts people who try to argue against it in a uniquely painful situation.

It poses an impossible question. It asks us to make ourselves vulnerable, to expose very personal parts of ourselves, to prove that we are happy and whole and satisfied, when ultimately these aren’t things that can be proven.

We want to convey just how far from harmful this thing is– the satisfaction and even joy that we get from it– so we sit down and pour out our hearts trying to convey that in words, and what do we get? They say, Nope! It’s still disgusting! And if you think it’s good, you’re disgusting, and not only that, you can’t even tell what’s good for you.

Not only will they tell you that what you do is wrong, they’ll say that if you disagree, you must be brainwashed, deluded, manipulated.

And there’s no way you can ever prove them wrong.

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