Something just reminded me of the period of time when Sparkly and I were both in high school, and Sparkly was dating a guy. And. Heh. My (non-jealous) reaction to that, in retrospect, predicts pretty well that I would end up polyamorous.
I’m not sure if I was aware of polyamory at the time, and I definitely wasn’t thinking of my feelings for Sparkly as either romantic or sexual then, but. Still.
So, for the majority of the time before we both left for college, Sparkly and I saw each other only once a week for choir rehearsal, and only got to actually talk to each other for maybe half an hour total? A few minutes before and after rehearsal, plus the fifteen-minute break. That was the only time in which I saw or talked to em at all. I saw my only actual friends for half an hour once a week, plus a concert or two.
At this time, I had a cell phone and Sparkly didn’t, and eir mother heavily limited and policed how much ey could use the phone at home. When ey started dating this guy, that meant ey had no regular way to talk to him outside of school. So– I don’t remember who first suggested it, but I let em use my phone during that fifteen-minute break, so ey could talk to him. And as I remember it, ey would spend pretty much the whole fifteen-minute break on the phone, and sometimes I’d sit by em and keep em company, and I felt a bit sad about not getting to talk to em as much, but mostly I was genuinely glad that I could help em talk to this guy, who ey really liked and who made em happy. I was really glad that I could make that happen, even though it meant significantly less time with em for me.
And now, of course, I feel the same way, except that I can spend plenty of time with em, and I have the knowledge that ey is committed to me and considers me equal to Numbers Guy to fall back on when I do feel lonely, and it doesn’t feel even a little bit like a sacrifice.
So I’ve actually been inclined towards polyamory since well before I ever experienced real sexual attraction or fell in love. Like several years before. Huh.