Most people really don’t feel the same way you do about social pressure and expectations! They just don’t! They honestly don’t see the thing, and that’s not weird, you’re weird. Not everyone is a survivor of a particular kind of abusive relationship, or the exact same type of badbrains with the exact same feelings about it that you have. You ACTUALLY CAN’T expect everyone to see it the same way you do. Stop being mystified and be just plain triggered.