Intimidation and me

Some rambling thoughts.

On the surface, it’s  kind of weird that social pressure and expectations turn me into such a ball of mush, and intimidation doesn’t affect me at all. I think it’s a couple of things.

  • lack of personal experience with physical violence
  • general “freeze”/numbness
  • delayed/weird processing

I guess on some level intimidation registers as fake? It registers as someone trying to seem scary, not someone who actually intends to hurt me.

Some kinds of body language/social subtext/whatever just reach out and grab me, and others I notice them and it’s just like “Oh. That person is trying to ____.”

And I have a contrary streak a mile wide, when it comes to things that I don’t feel obligated to obey.

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