Just kind of broke my brain by trying to imagine what would have happened to my relationship with Sparkly if I hadn’t been open to polyamory.
Recently I saw someone talking about how they didn’t experience “compersion” (vicarious happiness when your partner is happy about their other relationship/s) at first, and had to struggle to develop it– their word. And I don’t want to criticize anyone else’s way of doing things, but that really weirds me out. My gut reaction is “why would you be polyamorous if you don’t experience that?”
And that led to the above, because… I do think that polyamory has good points, it has advantages, it makes sense to me on an intellectual level as well as an emotional one, but I didn’t become polyamorous by an intellectual decision. It’s kind of hard for me to imagine how that works, why someone would make that decision if they’re not emotionally drawn to it, how it could be a healthy decision and not an excessively difficult and self-denying one if you have to struggle to be happy about it.