Fictional character, trying to intimidate someone: And I’ll never let you do XYZ ever again! Muahaha!
My brain: Fine, I can to give up this thing that’s actually ridiculously important if it’ll spite your desire to scare me. I won’t XYZ ever again. See if I care. *crosses arms stubbornly*
Dear brain, sorry, but this is not actually a reasonable response! Even to a piece of fiction! This is not how it’s supposed to work.
Tbh this is a long-established pattern of thinking with me, but I have no idea what it started with. Brain, come on. Stop it.