I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s considered comparing this stuff to gaslighting. (There are content warnings at the top of the linked page, fyi.)
The similarities being things like:
Thinking that other people’s feelings are extremely important, and carefully protecting them, while believing your own feelings aren’t important at all
Assuming that when people contradict you, they are right and you’re wrong
Doing what other people tell you you should do, and accepting what other people tell you is normal, even if it harms you
I’ll probably write more about this later.