(A mostly retrospective post; I’m ok right now.)
I made soup today. It was really good.
But, instead of making it with canned beans, or cooking the beans today with the rest of the soup, I used beans I cooked a while ago and froze.
And it took a lot of effort to shut up the anxiety-voice in my head saying “Are the beans really fully cooked?”
Because literally the whole point of cooking them in advance was so I could make soup in the slow cooker without worrying about whether the temperature was high enough. Of course I cooked them fully the first time around, that’s the point.
But it was long enough ago that I don’t actually remember it clearly, and my jerkbrain was not convinced.
This is kind of making me question how much I actually rely on “checking” things to deal with anxiety.
This hasn’t happened other times I’ve used food I pre-cooked, and I think that’s just a habit/pattern thing? Like, every time I cook bean soup, I think about whether it’s fully cooked. When I make burritos and other things with beans, I’m in the habit of using canned beans and therefore not thinking about cooking them thoroughly.