A significant part of the foundation of this— the reason so many things didn’t Seem Like Bullying to me– was internalized ableism. Because part of the definition of an Insult, and therefore of Bullying, in my mind, was untruthfulness. If someone calls you something, and it’s not true, or if it is true but it’s an inherently offensive way of putting it, like a slur– that’s what an insult is, young me would have said.
If someone calls you something, and it upsets you, but it’s both objectively true and objectively bad, not something that ought to be a neutral characteristic…
- Objective badness is debatable
- This situation can be just as harmful as hearing insult-type hurtful things
3. Young me didn’t understand either of those things.