This article is old but

Someone linked to it recently on Tumblr so yeah.

At the link: step-parent-ish person of an autistic child being really, really gross about how difficult parenting is. Below: me complaining about what I think the grossest parts are.

I left a focused-message type comment there, but I’m still thinking about it, so here are the thoughts that I didn’t feel belonged in a comment.

1. Those are some weird fucking feelings that guy was having of, like, competitiveness with and jealousy of his girlfriend’s kid. As if they’re trying to occupy the same space in her life. As if he has to win her love away from her kid. And he brings sex into it and says they have sex in front of the kid which is not necessarily an awful thing in itself but in this context sounds even more weird.

2. Having weird fucking feelings doesn’t make him a horrible person and I’m not a fan of the people in the comments who were throwing around the word “psychopath”. Weird gross feelings can happen to anyone. The existence of the weird feelings isn’t the problem, it’s his choice of how to (not) deal with them.

3. The main feeling I get from that article is just overwhelming pettyness and childishness which makes it hard to be truly upset about it, but also I am upset anyway. The “glazed eyes” thing. The subtext of impish demon child thing with the “he’s intelligent but he doesn’t care about people” part. Straight-up saying that the kid is a burden that destroys everyone around him! It’s so hateful. It’s awful.

4. And the way he sort of wrote those parts on his girlfriend’s behalf is also gross, especially the very fatalistic “her life is Totally Destroyed Forever because she had an autistic kid at a young age”, like, does she get to have an opinion on this? She probably does not think her life is totally ruined?

5. And what does it benefit you to frame this situation as Ruined Forever instead of “we are struggling but we will find a way to get through this and be ok”? ANSWER: It lets you say awful awful things on the internet and get sympathy and feel like not only a Long-Suffering Good Person but also a Dramatically Interesting and Important person, and also a person who Deserves Things to make up for how awful your life is. A person who should get to Win For Once. A person who is Better than… a two-year-old?

And that’s the kind of maneuvering that goes to dangerous places very easily. Fuck that shit. I hope I hope I hope he learns/learned not to just gleefully plunge headfirst into this bullshit like he did in that article, because if he doesn’t learn to stop that, he should not be taking care of children.

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