It’s sort of like an experience I had with meditation.
So, when I was in college, I had a roommate who facilitated the campus meditation group. For a while, I went to it with her semi-regularly.
There were a few times I actually got really excited about it, because I felt like I was finally getting the hang of clearing my mind, but like:
you can’t think about whether or not you’re doing a good job of clearing your mind
while you’re clearing your mind.
So, like, I would mess up, and then think “oh cool this is going so well! try it again!” and then jump right back into trying to stop thinking about both the thing that distracted me and my excitement.
It’s like surfacing briefly from underwater.
Sex & thinking-about-sex works sort of like that for me.