(Sparkly don’t read)
Man I have a lot of feelings about this idea that talking about an “unhealthy coping mechanism” in a place where other people can read it is gross and evil and harmful to other people.
The smallest of my feelings is this.
So FYI this is a post about self harm, but it’s not graphic or anything.
Sparkly got a bunch of bug bites recently, so I’ve been reminded that her strategy for dealing with itchy things is: scratch them until they hurt instead of itch, i.e. usually until they bleed.
Yes, this is the same person who worries something must be wrong when I pick at dry, already-peeling-off skin in a totally harmless and painless way.
It’s like I’m a siggort. There’s a thing that seems normal and reasonable and non-harmful to me, and the world is like NO, and all I have is “But… I thought this was okay?”
(This is a tricky comparison, because I’m not actually going around hurting other people. I’m just collaterally upsetting people like Max. Sid would actually theoretically kill people, he just hasn’t yet. But. The part where Max loves him simultaneously with thinking he’s just Wrong. So Wrong that he shouldn’t even exist in the world. And how Sid is already sort of in an awkward situation with his theoretical purpose, in that he hasn’t fulfilled it yet and the other siggorts don’t trust that. It’s actually kind of like Dax’s thing. This thing. Evil space monsters inimical to human life exist, and they’re sitting across from you sipping coffee and talking to you like they like you.)
Please don’t. Multiple things you don’t want to hear about.