Sorry but

The difference between a funny joke and a cringeworthy mistake is entirely dependent on your opinion of the person who said it and your willingness to recognize their point of view (which is not the same as agreeing with their point of view.)

Holding up part of a person’s statement as cringeworthy is a great way to shut down a discussion and discourage anyone else from defending them or even understanding what they were trying to say. It’s just another form of self-perpetuating uncoolness: once a person is labelled as uncool, then everything they do is worthy of mockery, even totally unremarkable normal things.

I don’t like it. Either say something about what’s actually wrong with what they said, or don’t get involved. You can win the argument without fighting dirty and you can leave it without insulting them on the way out. I don’t care if the person truly is awful. This isn’t about what they deserve; it’s about what tactics you consider acceptable, because that affects everyone you talk to, not just awful people.



There’s this article being passed around on Tumblr about something that’s apparently a pretty new idea in psychology. It’s called “rejection-sensitive dysphoria” and it purports to describe how people with ADHD are particuarly prone to being sensitive to criticism, as an inherent part of the neurology of ADHD brains.

And like.

I don’t have ADHD, but if someone was trying to tell me that my sensitivity to rejection

(which is pretty similar to what that article describes)

was just how my brain works,

and not, say,

a reaction to having been repeatedly criticized and rejected, my whole life, for things I did not understand and/or could not stop doing,

(those things having been caused by the way my brain works)

I would be offended, personally.

Thank you

to whoever made this post show up in my site statistics page, and thereby reminded me of it,

because that “feeling like people are constantly watching and judging me” thing actually happens a lot less now? It’s way outnumbered by “Fuck it, you are awesome and also nobody cares what your clothes look like.”

And I didn’t really notice this happening?

Bullying 3

This is kind of an unfinished thought, but (a) it’s been sitting “unfinished” in my drafts for a while now (b) it’s pretty long, so it may as well stand on its own.

This is about bullying, a little bit, and also about that feel when you’re afraid of a problem but you’re more afraid of asking for help with it.

Continue reading “Bullying 3”