In school I often had to write about things I had no strong opinions or feelings about, and that was hard. But writing about things I have Too Many feelings about is even harder.
I haven’t been particularly interested in any of the (NPC) characters I’ve gotten to romance in Fallen London so far (the Once-Dashing Smuggler, ugh. He’s such an asshole. I keep playing along with him but only because I will hopefully get to double-cross him eventually.) But I am highly pleased with the part where my character gets to exercise and have gleaming muscles. Another example of how I relate to fictional characters weirdly?
(The Pirate Poet though, wow. She’s maybe the one character I’d actually like to romance. I wish there were more about her.)
How much fiction that’s important to me has influenced me, and therefore how much I’ve been influenced by random coincidences in libraries/ cool cover art/ recommendations or idle mentions from random people.
I owe a pretty large percentage of my brain to, essentially, a random stranger who I met on a fan forum. I never particularly interacted with her, but her post in the “what other online fiction do you read?” thread brought me to Hitherby Dragons, most importantly, and also to this, which I think about every time I hear this song, which is what brought this to mind tonight.
Sparkly has started using a daily journal program (I think it comes with writing prompts?)– and showing me what ey writes. I love that. Even if it’s basically inconsequential stuff, it’s awesome to see eir perspective on things and know what ey’s thinking about.
I am apparently so settled on this idea now, that when other people try to define stuff around intent it really confuses me. Like, why would you do that? Don’t you know you can just… not?
I spent my writing time tonight writing about topics adjacent to this somewhere else, so this sort of a placeholder.
I have actual feelings about an actual human person*. How did this happen.
Not really crush-type feelings, but what you might call a friend-crush, a “squish”. Just “you are interesting and I like you and I want to talk to you more.” There are assorted other people I’d like to be friends with, but sometimes it’s A Feel and sometimes it’s not so sudden or obvious.
*This is an echo from that faux-1950s Progressive Insurance commercial. “Actually, any wife, husband, or human person can use this…”
How do I tell people about things I like and actually do them justice?
How do I tell people “I think you in particular would like this particular story” without being super presumptuous and rude?
The second one is the main reason why I can’t recommend Hitherby Dragons to people.
There are a very few people on Tumblr where I feel all sad-puppy about the fact that I follow them but they don’t follow me, and for like half of them, the main reason it makes me sad is that it means I see all their fic recommendations and meaningful quotes but they don’t see mine.
Semi-relatedly, I’m still periodically asking Sparkly to read Code Name Verity. I do worry about pestering em too much, but ey recommends books for me specifically so it’s not too weird.
This post brought to you by Numbers Guy, the new smoke detector in the kitchen, and the broiler drawer under the oven.
Not counting illnesses and scheduled vacations (and interpreting posts I made slightly after midnight as counting towards the day before) I was only five days shy of posting every day this year. I made 417 posts total.
I think next year I’ll just backdate the 1AM posts, because figuring this out was unnecessarily confusing. Also I thought I did way worse than that, wow.
A lot of my posts this year were short random things, and part of me regrets the clutteredness of that, but I think making a habit and following through every day is important, even if I can’t write something long and/or serious every day.
Next year’s resolutions: manage my drafts better, post initial thoughts/rough drafts and follow up on them, put titles on posts.
There’s finally a significant amount of snow on the ground, which is good, but also means I have to get up early tomorrow morning to move the car before the snow plow comes. Parking on the street is definitely my least favorite thing about where I live. I’d happily shovel a driveway instead if I could do it on my own schedule.
(When will my serious posts return from the war? Probably in the new year. Travelling is a big energy drain, and so is being cold all the time tbh.)